Want to Craft Your Own Reality? Here are 5 Habits You Must Give Up

Did I just say: Craft Your Own Reality? Yes, I did. What’s crafting your own reality, you might ask. It is the art and science of transforming your beliefs and aligning with universal principles, such as the Law of Attraction, to manifest what you want in life.

Massive Action

Now, if ideas like the Law of Attraction make you squeamish, you can get a lot of traction just from focusing on the old tried and true technique of taking action.

However, taking action is still all about your beliefs. Why? Because your beliefs give rise to your thoughts, your thoughts make you feel a certain way, and feeling a particular way drives your action.

Think about it: when you’re feeling depressed what do you do? I mostly sleep, maybe read. I don’t take actions that create the things that I want in my life. There’s no energy in depression and that makes it exceedingly difficult to take meaningful action.

When you’re caught up in anger, maybe you plot revenge, but you probably don’t seek a creative resolution. If you do seek a creative resolution, I guarantee that’s not coming from anger. You’ve started to calm down and that calmness is allowing you to access your resourcefulness.

And how about when you’re feeling enthusiastic or determined? Isn’t that the state where you are going to get stuff done? You need energy to take on the hard tasks of your work and you find that energy from your emotions.

Law of Attraction

They know that when they don’t want something, the way to change the situation is to find what they do want and focus on that.

What My Dog Taught Me About LOA

Last night I had a dramatic example of the Law of Attraction in action. In my neighborhood, there is a new family that likes to have their dogs off-leash. The dogs run around in other people’s property and do their business. Our town and our Home Owner’s Association require that dogs be leashed. I was told that the HOA had warned the family. The other night, one dog started toward my dog, barking angrily. Though the dog responded to her owner’s commands, my neighbors said the dogs don’t always listen. This made me mad.

Well, unfortunately, I kept focusing on this situation. I got angry about it. I worried that these dogs might attack my dog. Then I had the thought that I could just avoid their house. It would be a slight inconvenience but it could be easily done and I’d avoid potential danger.

But last night, as I set out I thought about my route. I wanted to go around the block, my usual route at that hour. I didn’t want to be forced into another route by these people’s obnoxious behavior. I so decided to stick to my usual route, going right past their house.

So, I’m walking down the street getting all angry, fantasizing about what I’ll tell the dog owners, etc. Now, I’m not anywhere near the house, but I’m focusing on what will happen when I get there. Suddenly, I hear a woman yelling out behind me, calling to her dogs as they ran toward me and my dog.

It was those dogs. She was out walking them right near my house.

I was miffed at her, but I was more upset with myself. I know I had attracted this situation. It was like I was looking for a fight. This was classic manifesting. I focused on something and imbued it with potent emotion (my anger) and so it came to fruition.

Let’s look at a positive example.

I’ll Be Back

Steve Chandler tells a crazy story about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Back in 1976, when Arnold had a modicum of fame as a champion bodybuilder, Chandler was sent to interview him. Arnold told Chandler that he planned to become the biggest star in Hollywood.

Chandler was taken aback. Here was this massive man with a gap-toothed smile and a thick accent. He had a name as intimidating to spell as the man was to look at. He certainly didn’t seem like the classic Hollywood star. Completely baffled, Chandler asked Arnold how he intended to make that happen.

Imagine what Chandler thought in 1984 when he read that “Terminator” had made Arnold the most successful star in Hollywood. And what if Arnold had told Chandler that he would also be governor of California one day?

Arnold’s secret is the Law of Attraction. The way he described how he would gain Hollywood success… that’s classic manifesting.

Whichever path you use: taking action or manifesting, or the one I recommend: a combination of both, the common denominator is your belief. It all starts with believing that it can be done and that you are the one who can do it. But there are many thoughts and beliefs that can derail the process. Here are a few.

Looking to the past for evidence

When I was in Corporate America, they trained me in how to conduct interviews. They told me to look at the candidate’s past as a predictor of what they would do in the future (Behavioral Based Interviews it was called). I drank the Kool-Aid and did what they said, but you know what? Now I realize that’s bullshit.

No behavioral interview could have suggested that I would save that company millions of dollars by using a radical solution that someone had suggested as a joke. (I did.)

No behavioral interview could have suggested that I would successfully lead an international team of HR professionals (a field I had no experience in) to navigate all the complexities of setting up customer service operations in India and the Philippines. (I did.)

I didn’t know I could do these things, or that I would have the opportunity to do them. But I believed I could do whatever came up, whatever I had to.

Now, it is true, most people look to the past for evidence of future success.

But you know who doesn’t?

Trailblazing pioneers.

Or, there’s Oprah Winfrey, Helen Keller, Prince or Thomas Edison. These folks created something before anything like it existed.

So, what can we learn from these innovators? They didn’t judge themselves based on what they’d done before. They didn’t think small, or safe, or keep themselves in any boxes so that they would be secure. They didn’t fear rejection or what other people thought.

Caring what other people think

And, about caring what other people think… This is closely related to looking to the past for evidence. In fact, that is one of the biggest reasons not to care what others think. As I said, most people look to the past. If you lift yourself out of this condition and start believing that you will create what you have never done before, one of your big challenges will be the naysayers that don’t share your beliefs or enthusiasm.

Give them a break, because usually they care about you and they are just trying to keeping you safe by keeping you small, by keeping you in box of certainty and reassurances. A padded box where you can’t get hurt by your outlandish ideas. But, please, don’t listen to them.

Telling Sad Stories About Yourself

You get what you put out there. If you go around telling people stories where you are the victim of some unpleasant circumstance, guess what you’ll get? Maybe you’ll get some sympathy and a bit of a dopamine hit from the attention. But mostly what you’ll get is more of the same. What you focus on is what you see. What you see equals the world you think you live in. The world you think you live in equals your reality. When you don’t like reality as you think it is, focus on the part that you do like. Tell stories where you are the hero.

But, Kira, you may say: I don’t go around telling these sad stories. But, do you complain? If so, that’s what I mean.

If you don’t like something, remove your attention from it. It will become smaller and less consequential in your reality. Focus on what you do like, appreciate that, and let it grow larger until it’s all that you can see.

And, for Heaven’s sake, don’t tell sad stories about who you are. For example, don’t say “I’m such a klutz,” or “I’m just no good at sales.” That is anti-manifesting. It works just like manifesting, except it gives you the opposite of what you really want. Like me and the dogs.

Getting Things In the Wrong Order

Most of us do whatever we do, or don’t do, because of how we believe it will make us feel. We are absolute hedonists in this sense. But this hedonism is short-sighted and doesn’t create the results we imagine it will.

To operate in sync with the Law of Attraction and other operating principles of our universe, you create what you want by feeling it first. By “feeling it” I mean feeling as if you already have the thing that you want. Imagine it’s already here, you’ve got it, and now you’re experiencing that feeling that you imagine you are chasing.

Just feel it.

More than anything else, it is that feeling that will attract the result you want into your life. When we talk about “like attracts like,” feelings are the most powerful magnet. Sure, you could conjure up a picture of that Range Rover or even go test drive one, but do this because of how it makes you feel to imagine that it’s yours already in the here and now.

Then, to infuse the process with the magnet powers of attraction, feel as if you are the person that has that thing or has accomplished the goal. Be the person.

If you can do that, you will craft a reality of your choosing.

References: Steve Chandler, 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself

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